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How to Lose Weight and Finally Be Happy with Your Body**

Updated: Oct 26, 2023

** Just Kidding (kinda)


Let's talk weight loss...


If you've known me for a while, you might be wondering why I've written a blog about weight loss, especially one with a title as brutal and dripping with self-loathing as this one.


If you're thinking 'That's not like you, Mel' you'd be right!


Don't worry, I haven't changed my mind... I still hate 'weight loss' as a health strategy. It doesn't mean that you won't lose weight if you join our bootcamps or do a health coaching program with me, it just means you won't hear me say the words 'lose weight' in the process.


I've never liked the idea of weight loss because I have seen far too many clients come to me thinking they want to lose weight, when really all they want is to feel good about themselves. It breaks my heart to see them work their literal asses off, and the realise they still don't like what they see or feel.


My goal now is to get my clients from 'I need to lose weight' to 'here's what I really want...' as quickly as possible, and focus on all the benefits of what they really want from then on.


I want my clients to feel happy and healthy without ever stepping on the scales, and without ever feeling the shame and self-loathing that the weight loss industry thrives on.

I decided to ask AI: 'Why should I lose weight?', and it came up with these 5 common reasons:


  1. Reduce risk of chronic diseases.

  2. Improve physical health.

  3. Increase energy levels.

  4. Improve mental health.

  5. Live longer.


I also asked it what the top 5 emotional reasons people want to lose weight are, and it came up with these:


  1. To improve self-esteem and confidence.

  2. To feel more attractive.

  3. To have more energy and feel healthier.

  4. To improve relationships.

  5. To improve quality of life.

As a person who has worked in the fitness industry for over a decade, I can agree that most people who come to me want one or more of those things... BUT most people who come to me don't tell me that...


What they tell me is: 'I want to lose weight'.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who believes that obesity doesn't impact your health. It's well established and documented that carrying excess fat negatively impacts your health. HOWEVER, I do believe that it's completely unnecessary to step on the scales to improve your health and get all the other benefits in the lists above.


Here's why (Let's go through one by one):



Reduce your risk of chronic diseases.

What AI says:

  • Obesity is a major risk factor for many chronic diseases, including heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and some types of cancer. Losing weight can help to lower your risk of developing these diseases.

What Mel says:

  • Poor diet and an inactive lifestyle are a major risk factor for many chronic diseases, including heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and some types of cancer. Improving your health by eating more nutritious foods, and moving your body in a way that you enjoy can help to lower your risk of developing these diseases.


Improve your physical health.

What AI says:

  • Losing weight can help to improve your blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and blood sugar levels. It can also reduce your risk of developing sleep apnea, joint pain, and other physical health problems.

What Mel says:

  • Building muscular strength and cardiovascular endurance can help to improve your blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and blood sugar levels. It can also reduce your risk of developing sleep apnea, joint pain, and other physical health problems.


Increase your energy levels.

What AI says:

  • When you lose weight, you have less body fat to carry around. This can make you feel more energetic and less tired.

What Mel says:

  • When you move well and eat nutritiously, your body and brain function better. This can make you feel more energetic and less tired.


Improve your mental health.

What AI says:

  • Losing weight can boost your self-esteem and confidence. It can also improve your mood and reduce your risk of developing depression and anxiety.

What Mel says:

  • Looking after your mental and physical health can boost your self-esteem and confidence. Moving and eating well can also improve your mood and reduce your risk of developing depression and anxiety.


Live longer.

What AI says:

  • Studies have shown that people who maintain a healthy weight tend to live longer than those who are overweight or obese.

What Mel says:

  • Studies have shown that people who maintain a nutritious diet and keep active and engaged tend to live longer than those who don't.


What AI told me was not untrue, but changing the focus changes the way you approach the problem. Rather than going on a fad diet or some other weight loss trend, hoping that the real problem goes away, focusing on intentional movement and nutrition addresses the problem directly.


(You may also notice that all the things I swapped 'lose weight' for are the best and most effective ways to lose weight.)


Now let's do the same for the emotional reasons:


Improve self-esteem and confidence.

What AI says:

  • Many people feel ashamed or embarrassed about their weight, and losing weight can help them to feel better about themselves and their bodies.

What Mel says:

  • Many people struggle with confidence and self-esteem issues. Learning about yourself, addressing the underlying causes of the way you feel and continually growing your confidence and self-esteem can help you to feel better about yourself and your body.


Feel more attractive.

What AI says:

  • Society often places a high value on physical appearance, and many people feel that they would be more attractive if they were thinner.

What Mel says:

  • Society often places a high value on physical appearance, and many people feel that they would be more attractive if they were thinner. However, confidence and self-assurance can often be more attractive than body shape and size, so learning to love and accept yourself as you are, can make you more attractive to the types of people that matter most.


Have more energy and feel healthier.

What AI says:

  • Losing weight can improve your overall health and fitness, and give you more energy to enjoy your life.

What Mel says:

  • Improving your overall health and fitness can reduce your weight, and give you more energy to enjoy your life. (See what I did there?!)


Improve relationships.

What AI says:

  • Sometimes, weight problems can strain relationships with family and friends. Losing weight can help to improve your relationships and make you feel more connected to the people you love.

What Mel says:

  • Sometimes, self-worth and health problems can strain relationships with family and friends. Taking care of yourself by improving your health and working on your beliefs around your worth, as well as learning about relationships and the people your life, can help to improve your relationships and make you feel more connected to the people you love.


Improve quality of life.

What AI says:

  • Losing weight can make it easier to move around, participate in activities, and enjoy life to the fullest.

What Mel says:

  • Finding fun and engaging ways to stay fit and active can make it easier to move around, participate in activities, and enjoy life to the fullest.


Your weight isn't really the problem, it's what you miss out on because of it that's the problem.

Losing weight doesn't directly make you live a longer, disease-free, mentally and physically healthy and happy life... it's the things you do to lose weight that does.


The down side of focusing on weight, is that you're focusing on an outcome that you have no real control over. All you can control is what you do to get the result, not the result itself.


The side effect of living in a culture that focuses on weight, is the incorrect assumption that smaller equals healthier or better and bigger equals unhealthy or worse. So, when we do all the things we can to lose weight, and it doesn't produce the magic number in our heads, we feel like we're not doing enough or simply aren't enough.


None of my strongest, fittest, healthiest or happiest clients are the smallest.


And my smallest clients aren't automatically the strongest or fittest or healthiest or happiest!


It's the ones that focus on what's important to them that have the best results for them, regardless of their weight.


So how can you begin your journey to 'lose weight and finally be happy with your body'?


Firstly, change the question.

Ask yourself why you want to lose weight. What would you be able to do if you lost weight that you can't do now? If you could do those things without losing weight, would that be ok? If your weight wasn't the problem, what else could the problem be?


Secondly, ask yourself what you can do right now be happy (or a little bit happier) with your body, regardless of your weight? I'm not saying that's an easy one, but I am saying losing weight will almost never be the only answer.


Once you get to the bottom of what you really want, you can then start taking steps to get you there. Whether it's improving your confidence, strength, heart health, mental health or something else, focus on the real issue, not just the number on the scales.



Want some help? Reach out!


We have Women's-Only Bootcamps and Personal Training Sessions available in the Perth hills (Contact me here for more info)


We can do Health + Happiness Coaching from anywhere in the world (online) (Book a 60-Minute Discovery Call here)


Or we have a Free eBook to help you build your self-esteem and confidence (Here)


Have a Healthy and Happy day!


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1 Comment


Wow Mel! you are so right! you‘ve been able to change a mindset and focus from numbers on a scale to positive energy from just moving. It’s as easy as that!

i have enjoyed working with you and moving more than I’ve moved in years.

my body is slowly changing and I’m enjoying every session of Pilates and boot camp and starting to meet new friends there. Thank you for your insight and support.

you are a big facilitator in my recovery journey.

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